Imagine being an insurance provider in the marvel universe imagine how much that job sucks imagine investigating the claims that Norse gods wrecked your cars imagine having to make adjustments to cover that shit because it’s getting commonplace imagine having to drink yourself to sleep at night because Tony Stark is ruining your life
imagine life without bread
but i knead bread
can we just
and their bowler hats
you’re 74 and 73 jfc
you’ve been knighted by the queen
who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants
What do Sams old college friends even think happened to him? I mean he went on a road trip with his brother after his girlfriend died and then like 5 years later he’s a serial shooter on the news that died. twice.
It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.
You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.
I went to see hamlet and the guy playing hamlet was rather cute and had a lot of shirtless scenes going on and so I stared at him and tried to make eye contact until he caught my eye and I wiggled my eyebrow and he broke character and smiled and after that I would catch him glancing my way and after the play was over he came into the lobby and pulled me into his dressing room and that is how I lost my virginity to someone with his own Wikipedia page